This afternoon at my dad’s wake, I hugged one of my aunts and told her that I love her. She asked me if I still knew that I’ll always be their baby and said that she started missing me when I grew up and started to hang out more with my boyfriends than spending time with her.
I told her that it was her fault that it was like that. She told me to love and love and get my heart broken over and over again without fear or hesitation. Because I knew that even though I have felt like I have given my all every single time, I would always be able to love again, much more after every heartache; For when the emptiness inside you gets bigger with every loss, more love is needed to fill the void.
I have always known I would never run on empty even if I’ve driven my heart to the ground. I just knew that maybe I needed to love just a little more than before.
“You have a big heart”, my aunt said.
I agree. It grew to this a long time ago.